When will I speak to you next?
When I can no longer remember your face clearly.
When I can no longer close my eyes and imagine your lips against mine or look into those eyes and feel wanted.
When my dreams tire of showing you to me and I can sleep soundly for the first night since you left.
When I can no longer hear the whispers of broken promises in your voice echoing through my mind in the silence of an empty house.
When my heart settles itself instead of tearing between rage and sorrow, and the oceans of my consciousness have calmed and stilled; the serenity shattered when Fate decreed you would meet the boy you now claim to love.
The day I recognise with complete confidence that you were never going to believe I was worth keeping is the day I will speak to you as a friend- and not a broken man who was too foolish to see he never stood a chance.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Normally I don't keep personal things where others can see it, but I liked this poem that I thought of during a walk and it would be a shame to forget it.
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Thursday, 11 October 2012
The beach
It's a gray day, and the storm clouds are gathering. I stand at a small beach with my brother. The
waves are getting more and more restless. A small gray shark washes up on the
shore, already dead. My brother approaches it. I tell him to stay back,
thinking it's dangerous. A great white then washes up on shore. It's
dying, struggling feebly to move on the beach. The waters rush up to
meet us before pulling back again. A killer whale washes up on shore, much closer. My brother gets close to it.
The killer whale is still alive. It tries to attack him. He backs away
but the waves are getting bigger, reaching our chests, knocking us off
our feet. The whale swims closer to us. We both try to swim away.
The next wave hits. It covers both of us. Suddenly there are bodies everywhere. My brother is gone. The corpses are horribly mutilated. Some have half their hair missing, the remaining tangled around their necks like a tight noose. The entrails from their stomach drift slightly out. Their lips have been eaten away so they bare destroyed teeth at me. They float under the water, rotating slowly, but whenever they turn to face me I can see them staring at me. All of them still have eyes, with tiny black pupils sunken into their heads. They are the most horrifying faces I can imagine and I see them all with incredible detail. Why am I alive and not them? They accuse me silently. But they don't move. None of them attack, or try to pull me under.
I sense the whale still after me. I cannot look back at it, my only hope is to move forward, trying to put as much distance from it as I can and find some land.
There are too many bodies in the water. I'm forced to push some aside. They only move a little but it is enough for me to break onto the surface and into the bleak landscape. The water is endless and turning from gray to red by the second. The only landmass is a chunk of twisted metal rising up beneath the sudden sea.
People aren't the only bodies. There are huge fish in the water, chunks missing from them so large I can see the bone. I take hold of a stingray without realising, but it is already dead and harmless.
There are people on the metal island waving towards me. I swim to them and they pull me up on a small ledge. I ask them what has happened, before noticing they haven't been harmed at all. Their movements are jerky and they have no expression.
They aren't people. They're mannequins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a dream I had a few nights ago. After I noticed they weren't people I woke up. Upon trying to go back to sleep, I found that I couldn't reproduce the bodies, or the mannequins. All I could imagine was the metal island and the gray sea.
Those corpses were the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen, and they were in far more detail than someone who had never seen a corpse in real life to imagine.
The next wave hits. It covers both of us. Suddenly there are bodies everywhere. My brother is gone. The corpses are horribly mutilated. Some have half their hair missing, the remaining tangled around their necks like a tight noose. The entrails from their stomach drift slightly out. Their lips have been eaten away so they bare destroyed teeth at me. They float under the water, rotating slowly, but whenever they turn to face me I can see them staring at me. All of them still have eyes, with tiny black pupils sunken into their heads. They are the most horrifying faces I can imagine and I see them all with incredible detail. Why am I alive and not them? They accuse me silently. But they don't move. None of them attack, or try to pull me under.
I sense the whale still after me. I cannot look back at it, my only hope is to move forward, trying to put as much distance from it as I can and find some land.
There are too many bodies in the water. I'm forced to push some aside. They only move a little but it is enough for me to break onto the surface and into the bleak landscape. The water is endless and turning from gray to red by the second. The only landmass is a chunk of twisted metal rising up beneath the sudden sea.
People aren't the only bodies. There are huge fish in the water, chunks missing from them so large I can see the bone. I take hold of a stingray without realising, but it is already dead and harmless.
There are people on the metal island waving towards me. I swim to them and they pull me up on a small ledge. I ask them what has happened, before noticing they haven't been harmed at all. Their movements are jerky and they have no expression.
They aren't people. They're mannequins.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a dream I had a few nights ago. After I noticed they weren't people I woke up. Upon trying to go back to sleep, I found that I couldn't reproduce the bodies, or the mannequins. All I could imagine was the metal island and the gray sea.
Those corpses were the most horrifying thing I'd ever seen, and they were in far more detail than someone who had never seen a corpse in real life to imagine.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)